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Old 07-10-2003, 03:35 PM   #1
Posts: n/a
Managed to dig up this classic piece made by Vendrix:

This is my feeble attempt to add humor to this goofy thread. No Im not smoking crack, but I do have a splitting headache, enjoy

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

Han Sudo, "I just blew up a rare Imperial Scout droid, didnít drop jack!"
Commander Stinkfoot, "Damnit, now the empire knows we're here. I need a beer!"
Dowd Skywalker, "Dood, I'm at the first marker and everything is cool. Gonna burn one and head back."
Han Sudo, "OK bro, sounds good."
Gopher shouts, "ROAR!" *smacks Skywalker*
Dowd Skywalker, "ouch"
Han Sudo, "Dowdy! Dood are you AFK?!"
R2-DEDO, "do do dee do"
Guildon, "We've sent out search parties, I logged in all my accounts to help look for him."
Han Sudo, "I'm going out looking for him!"
Kriket, "You'll freeze before you hit the first marker! *pager goes off* Ooh, bootie call. See ya!"
Han Sudo, "Then I'll see you in POH!"

///The wind roars and temperature plummets///

Han Sudo shouts, "Dowd! Dowd!! Selling Ice Comet and Super Nova spells! Dowd!!!"

///At that moment in the ice cave of the evil Gopher, as Dowd regains consciousness///

Dowd Skywalker, "Ugh, where am I? Jules..? Hope I didnít break another bookcase!"
Gopher pokes Dowd
Gopher hugs Dowd
Gopher pokes Dowd
Gopher hugs Dowd
Dowd Skywalker, "Argh! The emotes!!!" *uses the Force and regains is light saber, yadda, yadda, yadda*
Dowd has defeated Gopher in a duel to the Death!

///Dowd emerge from the cave and sees a vision in the blizzard///

Ogmuk Wan Kenobi, "Did he drop anything I can get a screenshot of?"

Han Sudo, "Dood! We gotta haul ass to the Plane of Death Star, we're already late!"
Sudo opens a portal and fades away
Dowd opens a portal and fades away

///Later on the Imperial Star Destroyer, Devastator///

Captain Hothgar, "Hey brudda, we be getting to da icy cold planet now."
Darth Elwyn, "Prepare the AT-ATs and ground troops, put them in their wintry pink uniforms."
Captain Hothgar, "Okee"
Stormtrooper Nazeth, "..."
Darth Elwyn, "Take up positions around the planet, no one escapes. Put all hostages in my chamber, naked and bound to the walls with red leather!" *fans himself*
Stormtrooper Nazeth, "..."

///Back on Hoth, the Ice Planet///

Commander Stinkfoot, "Wtg gays! See, I told you they would come!"
General Narakumi, "Prepare to repel ground assault with..."
*Much time passes*
Commander Stinkfoot, "Jesus! He's LD, this is great. I'll be in the bar!"
Princess Zhenya, "We have to escape, everyone prepare for evac! Do these pants make my ass look fat?"
Han Sudo, "yea"
Dowd Skywalker, "uh huh"
Guildon, "now that you mentioned it, yea"
R2-DEDO, "dee do dee"
Yeoman Graen, "yup"
Sergeant Padangg, "Thatís quite a caboose girl."
Captain Kizmet, "yeap whoa!"
Kizmet has fallen to the ground
Captain Kizmet, "Damnit!!!"

///After a futile effort to repel the Imperial forces the rebel installation is penetratedÖ///

Darth Elwyn, "This place is filthy, rebel scum."
Stormtrooper Nazeth, "..."
Darth Elwyn, "Scour this place and see where they went!"
Stormtrooper Nazeth, "..." *scurries off*
Darth Elwyn, "You, why aren't you looking for clues?!"
Stormtrooper Wrath, ""
Darth Elwyn, "hello?!"
Stormtrooper Wrath, ""
Darth Elwyn, "HELLO?!"
Captain Hothgar, "He be AFK watchin da TV sir."

///Later, approaching the Cloud City///

Han Sudo, "Luden Calrissian is an old friend of mine"
Dowd Skywalker, "Heheh, dood! No one likes you, not even your pets."
Han Sudo, "Just trust me.."

C-3P-ONYYN, "Kriket, are you in this room with one of your girls?!"
Stormtrooper Nazeth, "..."
Stormtrooper Wrath, ""
C-3P-ONYYN, "Wtf are you guys doing here?!"
Stormtrooper Nazeth, "..."
Stormtrooper Wrath, ""
C-3P-ONYYN, "I'm calling the guards!!!"
Stormtrooper Meconan, "Not so fast, TALK IS CHEAP!!" *Blows up C-3P-ONYYN*
Stormtrooper Nazeth, "..."
Stormtrooper Wrath, ""

Luden Calrissian,"Right this way fellas"
Han Sudo, "Hey, where are the droids?"
Dowd Skywalker, "Elwyn!"
Han Sudo, "Elwyn!"
Luden Calrissian, "I'm sorry bros, he offered a pair of Golden Nikes and a PKT for you guys"

Darth Elwyn, "Into the Phoboplasm chamber with you, Sudo"
Princess Zhenya, "I love you."
Han Sudo, "Cool! Gimme some luv'n baby!"
Princess Zhenya, "Pfft, as if?! I was talking to the slave girl!"

///A while later everyone escape, Dowd losses a hand and blah, blah, blah Tatooine///

Dowd Skywalker, "I've come to see your master, the great Aurore the Hut"

Aurore the Hut, "Joo be doe su ahh young Skywalker"
Dowd Skywalker, "huh?"
Aurore the Hut, "Joo be doe su ahh young Skywalker!"
Dowd Skywalker, "ummm... err?"
Dowd Skywalker, "Wtf are you talking about?"
Aurore the Hut, "Get me some Bon Bons you misogynistic, Euro-hating, non-cybering freak!"
Dowd Skywalker, "Oh ok, beotch. This is the deal, I want my friend or I'm kickin your ass!"
Aurore the Hut, "As payment, I want your droids, house, ship and all your money. Thatís fair."
Dowd Skywalker, "Don't you think thatís excessive, he only owed you 5 bucks?"
Aurore the Hut, "You are trying to screw me cause I'm a Hut, racist!"

///Dowd falls in the Rancor pit, kills the big fucker, everyone tries to escape but are caught by Aurore///

Aurore the Hut shouts, "Could someone lead me to the Sarlacc pit, I'm lost again "

Aurore the Hut, "Now you will be fed to the Sarlacc where you will be digested over a 1,000 years"
Dowd Skywalker, "At least I wont have to listen to anymore of your loot motivated whines, biatch!"
R2-DEDO, "doo deed oo" *launches lightsaber*

///Dowd gets a light saber, wrecks some shit. Aurore and misc. bad guys perish in the explosion///

///Rebels regroup and prepare to assault the Plane of Death Star///

Admiral Xavieran, "We've discovered a weakness in the defenses, go get the map or you're screwed."
Wedge Twinklblade, "We need to get this started ASAP. I've got an exam in 3 hours, but I'll be back later."
Dowd Skywalker, "The emperor is on that space station. I must go face him!"
Han Sudo, "Heheh, he's level 60. You're gonna get your ass handed to you, lol."

///A bunch more stuff happens that I cant remember, but now Dowd is on the Death Star///

Darth Elwyn, "Give in to the dark side dude, at least let me put some fruity colors on you.."
Emperor Vendrix, "Ahhh, young Skywalker. Take your place at my side, kill your father!"
Darth Elwyn, "huh?"
Emperor Vendrix, "Strike Elwyn down with all your rage and hated!"
Dowd Skywalker, "Dood, cant we all just get along?"
Emperor Vendrix, "You leave me no choice, observe the power of this fully functional battle station!"
Emperor Vendrix, "Fire when ready"
Yeoman Zolen tells you, "Uhh, we tried to tell you that it's really not working yet sir."
Emperoe Vendrix, "AAArrggh!! @#$% #$*# *&^% @#$%^& $%^!!!"
Darth Elwyn, "Sir, you need to calm down before "
*Emperor Vendrix collapses from a massive heart attack*
Darth Elwyn, "uhh, okee well then lets go get a beer?"
Dowd Skywalker, "DOOD!"

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